"An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband."
This is that time of year - Bridal Season. This is the time of year I'm so busy I can barely remember my own wedding date - let alone the 50 or so brides I have on the docket. This year in particular I'm exceptionally busy so back in March I warned my husband that in April he should not expect much out of me in the way of housework, cooking or general fun. I apologized in advance and explained how I not only needed to concentrate on the beloved brides, I also wanted to revamp some things in the office to make our (mostly my) life easier. He agreed and has been pretty great about not having my undivided attention.
"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day."
So last night I needed to run to Celina to make some errands. I waited until Adam got home to see if he wanted to go with me. He arrived home tired, dirty (bridal season goes hand in hand with swimming pool building season) with plans to mow the yard. I could tell he really wanted to just do the yard work and then probably zone out on Facebook for a couple years but instead he hustled through the mowing and got cleaned up so we could go together.
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
We had a fun night. It was one of those night where all you do is run boring errands and then share dinner at some random, not exciting, restaurant while you discuss if you should purchase both the grill and the weed trimmer or just the grill and wait another month for the weed trimmer. One of those "old married couple" nights that are fun because they just ARE.
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again -- and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife."
I should mention that one of Adams greatest joys is to make waiters and waitresses laugh. He's probably worried they are going to spit in his food. I usually worry they will spit in our food after they deal with him. Believe me, I've heard my share of stupid jokes.
Patient waitress: "Sir, would you like a box for your leftovers",
Him: "yeah but I gotta warn you, I have a mean left hook".
Get it? Box, left hook. If you box with someone you might get a mean left hook? Funny, right? Last night was no exception. It was a slow night in the restaurant we picked but the waitress looked tired nonetheless.
Me: I ordered a Pepsi or a Coke. (I'm easy like that).
Tired Waitress replied: "Pepsi?
Me: I said sure.
Adam: I'll have a Coke. (wait for it . . . confused look on waitress face and . . . a smile)
Adam said Pepsi would be just fine.
I ordered my food - I got the meatloaf special.
Adam ordered the buffet - and asked the waitress to bring ketchup for me since I forgot to ask.
I cooed at him because it was sweet that he remembered (hey, we've been married for almost 8 years - remembering that I like ketchup on meatloaf is sweet).
Adam smiled because that's what Adam does when I coo at him.
Yeah, we were pretty happy sappy in front of the waitress.
"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
So Adam leaves the table to visit the buffet and when the waitress brings our drinks she, almost awkwardly, asks how long we'd been married. I told her almost 8 years and she opened her mouth to say something, pointed at me, pointed at Adams empty seat but then abruptly walked away.
When Adam came back I told him about the waitresses odd behavior. As we were wondering about it she came back to the table and apologized. She explained that she'd just gotten married a couple weeks ago and she didn't think it was going to work out. She babbled for a little bit before she left admonishing herself, "I must be crazy for telling you all this."
The third time she visited our table I said, "hey, just so you know - we haven't always gotten along. Believe me, we've had our rough patches. BELIEVE ME. I mean . . ." But she interrupted me and gave us a laundry list of reason she didn't think the marriage was good. And the list was pretty long. And pretty ugly. Then she abruptly left again almost in tears telling herself, "I'm crazy, I really think I'm crazy for talking about this."
"All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other."
I look at Adam with almost tears in my eyes for this poor girl.
Adam looks at me long and hard and says, "I think shes working us for a tip."
But he looked sad too.
"All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different."
The rest of the meal she acted like she'd never divulged her inner most thoughts. So we did too. Then on the way home I said a prayer for her and for her husband. But even today I can't stop thinking about it. Certainly I've had my share of relationships that didn't work out. And let's face it - marriage is hard. But with faith and love everything can work out. There was just something so hopeless about the way she looked. I really hope she's going to be okay.
I told Adam to go ahead and get the grill and the weed trimmer.
He deserves it.
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Good things are coming for Sara Paper in May and June!! Check back often!