From time to time I get asked questions related to etiquette. I have several books and am schooled on the "proper" way to do things. Still, I'm a firm believer that true etiquette isn't about rules or how something "should" be done. True there is usually a practical way to do things that is consider "right". I get that. But etiquette should be flexible as long as you include good manners and being gracious.
For instance, etiquette states that the only names listed on the invitation should be the hosts and the guests of honor. Still, I find it to be gracious to include all the parents involved even if they are not all contributing equally. Tomato - Tomato is what I say.
That being said I do enjoy reading about the dramas of etiquette. This website is a fun one. Lots of fun wedding stories in the archives. http://www.etiquettehell.com/